Well, mistletoe isn't meant for smoking
'cause it's your neck that I'd rather be choking.
Good morning baby, the kids are still in bed,
So get your ass under the sheets
and give me some head
There's no reason to get hostile
when it's the season of giving,
so do the fucking job right
if you want to keep on living.
If you need some inspiration,
I'll rub leftover KFC on my dick.
So rub my chubby like it's Santa's belly
and make it nice and THICK.
It's Christmas Time...
Your mom gave me herpes last year.
It's Christmas Time...
My hemmroids are sore...
There's times I'd like to think
that I'm the fucking king.
So keep screaming bloody Jesus
and see what Santa will bring...
We can fuck on the stairs
and fuck on the floor
fuck in front of the kids
so they call mommy a whore
We can pee on the dog
and shit out a log
It's a yule log, baby,
so there's no need to hog
all that shit for yourself
there's plenty to go around
even for your mom when
she gets back in town.
Oh wait! That's right,
she's fucking dead
'cause I fucking put a pillow
over her face while in bed
Now it's your turn, baby,
if ya don't do me right
Just tie your ass down
if ya put up a fight.
I said just suck my dick
that's a lesson to be learned
Or else I'll get out my blowtorch
and your vag will be burned.