1. |
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I got AIDS because Magic Johnson bled all over the filter in my air conditioner.
No sir, I don't have white power,
Come back tomorrow and we'll watch Kazaam together.
I dream of eating Champ brand Spam with Shaq...
and then Tom Sellick walks in with a spandex thong on...
And I get spread wide by an ice dildo...
(deth meat-el part)
(auction-core breakdown)
"I'll have a McPride sandwich
with extra shamrocks and minced Lucky Leprechaun..."
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2. |
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Fredrick Douglas and his Don King hair
Captain Tsubasa
Drop the Q-basic
Spy Hunter with Game Genie
Super Virgin Girls
Battle Monsters
23 dead Mexicans in a boxcar
Dog Tooth 7
Pit Fighter
No one can resist crunchy deep fried baby chimps wrapped in bacon
And then I shot her with my flaming dildo
Then I ate a whole box of Pepperidge Farm
Orange Milano cookies
mmm... buttermilk, chunky
What do ya mean there's no 16 cent ramen noodles?
YOU FUCKERS!!!
Bret Hart cereal at the dollar store
Gonna wrap my house in aluminum foil!
Champ, Nelson, Treat, Colby, Unisonic...
All the brands that are knockoffs
in the Chicago Shrimp festival
Penis monkeys banana split salads
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3. |
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4. |
The Crusades Song
01:21
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In 1095, Urban the 2nd gave God's call
pitched the land of milk and honey to the knights of Normandy
They marched through Antioch, Odessa, and later Tripoli
Jerusalem, the holy city would fall
When Jerusalem was lost, the three warlords unite,
In the third most famous crusade,
Richard the Lionheart was a fag,
King Philip lost his head,
And Fredrick Barborosa dropped dead on his horse
(I like dead horses, like Mr. Ed
They taste good in fast food burgers)
Kill the Turban Goobers with your lice and fleas
The smell of Western Europe brings the world
to its knees
The fourth crusade only reached Constantinople
Where the knights ransacked the Byzantine
Innocent the III was pleased at the expedition
Killing Christians in the name of Christ
(Country music makes me want to shoot Mexicans)
Bombard the holy city with decapitated heads
Rape dirty bitches in the name of our Lord...
(Hey! Bolt Thrower sucks! I live by the book of Jamal!)
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5. |
Darwinian Mouseketeer
01:15
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Basket weaving goiter people screaming for iodine
People in my neighborhood never clean their air ducts,
in fact, they piss in them
Gargle sperm and say Princeton
ANDY TIMMONS IS MY SUPER HERO!!!
"Hernias are frequent in middle age adults."
HE'S GOT A BIG WHITE COCK!!!
"Due to mental instability,
the subject may attempt to lift heavy objects,
such as refrigerators and trailers.
Sexual organs shrivel up,
and regulate at a much, much, much, much,
much slower rate..."
Vanilla Ice is living well in his mansion
with his piccolo snare
Moldy deer heads at Wal-Mart
TED NUGENT SHOULD SHOOT EVERYTHING!!!
"Then you start peeing yourself..."
Give blood, have your period into a plastic bag.
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6. |
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I saw a death metal album cover today
it looked just like any other
Shit, everywhere, on the faces of strangers
of every race and all colors
A guy had his head in a white, wooden box,
A lady sat on top and pooped inside
On the back, an Asian girl sat in a tub
and sprayed feces toward the sky
Brownie!!! Enemas for all!
People pay money to jerk off to this?
If I had a dollar for every one of these
fecal fetish covers
I could buy haircuts for all the people in
a fecal fetish death metal band
Cookie, Cookie, Cookie, Cookies...
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7. |
Fuck You Yuppie Bitch
01:47
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Fuck FAO Schwartz and
fuck Sharper Image and
fuck retail clothes and
fuck yuppie bastards and their flimsy shit
expensive cars and
fuck FYE and Sam Goody
fuck conglomerated retail franchise stores
that kill my favorite shopping spots
fuck movie theaters that never have matinees
fuck Blockbuster rentals
fuck expensive restaurants with lousy food and shit service
fuck prissy private schools and the people who attend them
fuck duty free stores fuck airport stores in general
fuck Pillsbury for making just plain absolute shit
fuck concentrate orange juice for existing and being invented
fuck all convenience stores and their eggnog
fuck any non-fresh coffee
fuck all-you-can-eat buffets that charge extra for drinks
fuck drivers on cell phones
fuck fake military surplus stores that are really
fucking trendy shit stores
Yuppies drink earth juice with a side order of bark
and fields of bean sprouts with pot growing in the middle
Will my Steam Buggy safely remove Jew ash from my Hitler poster?
Should I upgrade to the plasma shooter model?
I gotta buy that new Beatles Best Of
that has a different track order than the last 59 that came out
and I bought from an infomercial for $18.98 plus $5.95
shipping and handling, California residents add 8.7% sales tax?
Gotta buy next year's new VW Beetle
to match my new model Nokia cell phone and pager
and buy 20 candy-colored USB hubs for all my stupid
peripherals like Cue Cats
while I attend French culinary classes to become
another stupid frog competitor on the Iron Chef
USA edition to support my dream career as a
model art sculptor and make macaroni paintings
just like in day-car mommy and daddy put me
in when I was a kid
so they could be desk-jockeys,
and have big executive meetings to discuss
why Structure stores need to have a
pillar removed for display purposes,
but my paintings will sell for
10 grand on the New York circuit!
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8. |
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Mingia! I said a pastrami and bruschetta hoagie!
Yeah I'm Italian 'cause I watch Sopranos
Saw Goodfellas about 38 times
My Garbage disposal's always clogged with peppers
and onions and kneecaps
Last week I got grounded 'cause I forgot
to buy the right mozzarella
My house smells like garlic and sausage 24/7
I never take off my cross necklace,
even when I'm shooting porno with my 8 1/2 inch cock
Orange marzipan Briosco Bosco
I sweat olive oil from my armpits, with a touch
of rosemary and pepper flakes
You gotta love Italy's soap operas on satellite TV
Even though I don't know what the hell they're talking about
you put a horse head in your bed
Disposing bodies in a car crusher
Jimmy Hoffa's buried under Giant's Stadium
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9. |
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Pushing on the gas, I'm gonna rev it up
Living on the edge, I'm gonna... live it up
Watch my stupid plastic car race around an oval 900 times
While you down another 6 dollar beer
And trade in your Winstons for Marlboros,
Then you'll be a real racing car man like me
The smell of burning brakes is worse than rotting tuna fish
And undouched pussy a week post a 763 man gang bang
and... BLOWING YOUR LOAD!
Write three more racing songs on this album like Primal Fear
Ralf Sheepers ain't got nothin' on me,
'cause my sponsors are getting me a shitload more money
than his record royalties
Whoa baby, whoa baby
Tawny Kittain is on the hood of my car,
as I rev that sucker like a Japanese teenage boy
on unairbrushed American cunt-hair
Beat that, Whitesnake!
I don't care if Steve Vai was in your band before you died!
No one sees my Andri Agassi style mullet under my helmet!
Smoke Turbo!
Under my wheels!!!
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10. |
Dick Machine
01:04
|
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Hey, it's me.
I smoke NyQuil, 'cause it makes me feel good...
Iyllah! AAYAYYYAYAYAYAAYAYAYA
Dick Machine
You know the only one's the Dick Machine (Smoke Turbo)
Dick Machine
You know the only one's the Dick Machine, Dick Machine
Yo man, I smoke wet
Yo man, I smoke NyQuil
Yo, you know what these faggots do?
They steal mom's packs of Winston's,
and they put glue on it, and they smoke it
so they can get a buzz
There once was this man named Nick
He had a real big fucking, fucking dick
and that's why they call it the Dick Machine,
Dick Machine, nigger!
Spray cigarettes with Raid, makes them good shit.
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11. |
BOBBY!!!
02:16
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12. |
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(stupid computer voice intro)
Swastikas in the sky
Ashes float twice as high
Time to go watch Wizards again
With Aunt Jemima and Uncle Ben
But no, Mrs. Butterworth's gonna kick your ass
With the Amish Quaker Oatmeal Bastard
Snap, Crackle, & Pop all still around
But no toast or crunch...
(enter the Castrata)
Now for bad French Canadian animated shorts
Pac-dogs nipping at my crotch
Pac-dogs don't wanna fuck with Pac-Allans
Harvest Moon sucks!
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13. |
Vulcan Orgasm
00:33
|
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...highly logical... indeed...
|
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14. |
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(em ni sevil natas)
Can't you pity my bleeding asshole?
TV is evil, and your momma's bad in bed
I never knew so many ethnic cultures smelled so bad
Rolling Stone magazine is ass-wiping fun
Fuck old people in their off-colored cars
What ever happened to Chuck E Cheeses?
Woke up this afternoon, thought it was this morning
Screamed "Hey Mom! Why you cookin' chicken for breakfast?"
In 12th grade I still got picked last in gym
But I guess you don't care that I'm not circumcised
Stick my Jimmy Dean Sausage in Jimmy Dean's face
Pillsbury can suck it like a shitty tasting crescent roll
wrapped around a cocktail hotdog with a shitty mustard dip
I hate the clothes you wear and I really hate your music
Fuck your radio and fuck your trendy white-ass club going bitch
Can't stand what's too popular for it's own good
I left my strength in a high school bathroom urinal
The black lady on Tom & Jerry used to be black
You closed down a bookstore to open up this crap?
One last sewage nugget is running down my leg
Yesterday's Taco Bell is running south of the border
People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones at Ice-T,
They should stone Michael Jordan's asshole,
while he throws up after a night of binge drinking Tang.
Hey, at least it smells better than his cologne...
Tiger Balm cures everything,
but Tiger's penis cures even more,
especially Tony the tiger's...
They'll just put him on the cover of the box,
with a band-aid on his crotch
But there's gotta be Hitlers rising out of cereal bowls,
with white-power edition Whetena boxes...
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15. |
Grow Old Eat Fiber
03:07
|
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Hey kiddies, take the candy from the backseat of my car
Hey kiddies, I'll try not to molest you too very much
Just because I'm 37 and still live with my parents
One day I'll be the assistant front manager at McDonalds
I can get you all the free burgers and toys you want
There's a Happy Meal in my pants,
don't need to look too hard...
Hey kiddies, take the candy from the backseat of my car
Hey kiddies, my Happy Meal
doesn't have that Burger King aftertaste...
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16. |
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17. |
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Everyone's a ******, 'cause ****** means ignorant
Everyone is gay, 'cause gay means unproductive
Everyone's a faggot, 'cause I said so.
Thank you.
Jew jew, ******, jew jew.
Dick dick, cunt rag, scrotum
Douch douch in my pee hole
with a rubber mallet
razor-wired asshole
barb wire in cunt
I like screwing pre-teens
and jerk off to their poop
Thank you.
|
||||
18. |
College Sucks
00:40
|
|||
19. |
||||
I'm dropping the light berries!
All over the monster's cave!
32 simultaneous EGA colors!
I keep dying!
You know you're a real nerd
When you remember Zork, and Shadowgate,
and programming bootleg arcade games
for the Commodore 64
I was the only kid on the block
with a Turbo Grafx 16.
Yeah, I saw Ninja Turtles 3 in the theaters,
So what?
And I didn't learn shit in Technology class, either!
My teacher made me do everything while he
Whacked off to his porn VCDs
PC Dos used to be so great!
|
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20. |
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21. |
The Reprise
00:56
|
|||
Makeveli 8
Armanians have the best graphical technology
on their news programs
Fantasy Penis
Bobbin = negro
Waterworld = the best movie ever
Bill Cosby Breakdowns
Gotta give props to the Props.
Yeah, I'm Italian 'cause I watch Sopranos
Fantasy Penis take 666
we have too many songs about basketball players
wow! Sausage on pizza looks like boils on the elephant man,
but it tastes SOO GOOOD...
You can't give Solar Jetman away.
|
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22. |
Joe Bell
01:07
|
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23. |
Tipper Gore Has a Penis
01:20
|
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24. |
Lil' Nicky
00:57
|
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25. |
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26. |
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27. |
Creepy Children's Toy
00:27
|
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28. |
Aidlay
02:30
|
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29. |
The Samrat Song
01:38
|
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30. |
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31. |
Thunderbird
04:22
|
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